Tadaima
by ShinigamiForever
Summary: Continuation of "Empty Hallways." 1+2, shounen-ai. Heero comes home to his wife, Coleen. Well, sorta. Read please!


Tadaima

Tadaima

By: ShinigamiForever

A/N: GW doesn't belong to me (duh?). So don't sue me. For those of you who don't know a lot of Japanese, "tadaima" and "okaeri" mean "I'm home" and "welcome back," respectively. At least, I think that's what they mean. Last time I checked. This is sort of the continuation of Empty Hallways, but it's from Heero's standpoint, and written differently, since Heero obviously thinks differently. If you guys like it enough, I just might do the other pilots! Just might. Ah, pissed off because no one bothered to read some of the junk I wrote, or to write a review, but that's just cause I'm slightly jealous of better writers. *mutters* But anyway, enjoy!

***

The lights are on in the streets.

It's late, and I should get back home to Coleen.

But the lights are on in the streets, and night is luring me farther into the strange black.

It's late.

The stars are beautiful, but you can barely see them through the haze of the streetlights. I can barely make them out, little pinpoints of white against the yellow glow of everything else. They're still up there, but sometimes, you forget. It's too civilized here.

For me, at least.

I miss you. 

Funny how easy that is to say when there's no one here to hear it. Not even you. It would be just as easy to pick up the phone, dial your number, and say that to you. But I don't think I have the emotional strength to do that. 

I can almost hear your voice whisper, "That's okay, I always knew that the Perfect Soldier wasn't perfect at everything."

Just like I can almost see you all the time.

Almost.

I wonder, sometimes, that if I hadn't taken your offer to go with you to America for a few months, maybe I wouldn't be stuck in this situation.

But chances are, if it wasn't Coleen, then it would have been Relena.

And then you might have never forgiven me.

Which you probably haven't done yet anyway.

It's summer here. What is it where you are? Where are you anyway, Duo? I would go looking for you, but something holds me back. Maybe it's just that if I find you, you might have moved on.

Even if you told be that you loved me.

After all, it was you who taught me the difference between loving and being in love.

I know I am in love with you.

"But just how much?" I hear your voice whisper again.

Zutto. Forever. I promised once, remember? I promised I would love you forever. And you said forever isn't that long if you are Death. I laughed at you. You laughed too, and promised me you would love me forever. Zutto. Aishiteru.

I look back now and wonder if that even happened at all.

Maybe everything was a dream, and if I look and find you, the dream would be gone. And I would wake up and realize that you never said you loved me. I just dreamed you did. 

You always liked night. Said it made you feel alive. I guess that makes sense, in a way. Whenever we were out in the night, I wanted, more than anything, to be the stars, because then, I would always be with you. But that was impossible. And we both knew it was impossible for us to stay together forever. Maybe it was just…

"Destiny." Your voice. Or almost your voice. 

The streets are empty. It's 2:43 in the morning, and I'm outside walking around in the dark. 

It's late.

You called once. But just once. And at that moment, it felt like my heart could just shatter into a million pieces, and then mend back together. You didn't ever call back. Not that I expected you to. But I wish, now, that you would.

Just so I could hear your real voice.

I still remember the conversation.

__

"Hello?"

"Heero! Your wife has got one hell of a good voice."

"Duo?!"

"Me in the flesh! Well, sorta. Is everything good over there?"

"Yeah, everything's great here. I married."

"That's good, settle down, get a new life, yanno?"

"Hai."

"Glad to hear from me again?"

"Kitto! Of course."

"Well, that's good, because I thought you might have forgotten about me."

"How are you?"

"Ah, same old, same old. Working with the Preventers, yanno, basically keeping out of trouble."

"Yakatta."

"The colonies and Earth are getting along real well, so traveling is a lot easier."

"Mm. Yeah."

"Still, I'm a bit surprised that you didn't marry Relena."

"Relena? No, I didn't. Naze?"

"Well, yanno, you two were real close!"  
"Oh. Well, you didn't marry Hilde either."

"How could I, when I have a great hunk like you pining away for me?"

"Baka."  
"But I'm your idiot."

"Aishiteru, Duo."

"Aishiteru, Heero. I gotta go. You call sometime, okay?"

"Yeah, I will. You call sometime too, okay? Say hi to Quatre and the others for me. Bye."

I wonder, too, whether or not you got married.

And whether or not you were happy with it.

Coleen is wonderful, but she lacks the wild beauty I fell in love with in you. She is tamed and naïve. But she is the very essence I fought for. And I love her for understanding.

But as you said, there is a difference in being in love and loving.

I love her.

But I am in love with you.

I think I first fell in love with you when you crept over to my bed. And whispered in my ear, "It was a nightmare. Gomen. Just… just let me stay here, for tonight." I nodded, and you curled up against my back and fell asleep. 

But your steady and gentle breathing kept me up.

When it was just before morning, I got up and watched you sleep.

Like an angel.

I wonder how angels look like when they sleep. 

Like humans?

Like you?

But as I near my house now, there is one last thing I wonder about.

I wonder if you still remember me like I remember you.

And I dread the idea that you don't.

Still, I suppose it's just me. To hang onto such little details.

I open the door to my home. I suppose it can be considered my home. And often, I find myself comparing it to the safehouses we shared during the war.

And most of the time, I find it is less of a house then the safehouses were. 

But it is comfortable and filled with happy memories. 

I suppose I should be content with that.

"Tadaima," I murmur into the darkness, smiling slightly. It had always been something I wanted to say, but Coleen doesn't understand Japanese.

It's all right, though.

"What?" A sleepy mumble comes from a slumbering figure on the couch. I walk over, picking her up in my arms. Like when I used to pick you up and dump you into the river to wake you up from your nap.

She lifts her head, blinking away the sleepiness.

"Tadaima. It means 'I'm home.'" She smiles, looking into my eyes.

"Okaeri. It means 'Welcome back.'" She looks at me, tilting her head. 

"Okaeri, Heero." I smile back at her.

As I carry her upstairs and place her on the bed, though, I realize something.

It's your face I see sleeping.

It's your hands I felt on my chest.

It's your smile I saw.

It's your voice I hear, whispering, "Okaeri, Heero."

But as always, it's almost.

Almost.

Tadaima.

Okaeri.

I'm home.

Tadaima…

A/N: Well? What did you think? Please review and tell me!


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